Humbled

This blog is a way for me to share how God is moving in my life and yesterday He really moved! I guess I should tell some back story and hopefully you will continue to read even if this gets long and drawn out.

I always pray that God will convict me of things that are in my heart that need to be brought out and dealt with. I welcome conviction because I know that if it were up to me to point out things in my life that needed God's attention . . . . It might take awhile to get the courage to do it haha. And sometimes we don't even realize there are places of our hearts that are out of shape until we begin to work them, and then it's too late.

Over a year ago, a mom, of one of the girls in my group, won a contest and the prize was a Dave Ramsey study for youth. When she first brought it to me I sort of set it on a shelf and forgot about it. I didn't really see how it would benefit my kids spiritually. I have read his book about financial freedom and loved it, but just wasn't sure how it would work out for the youth. We just finished up the Amazing Bible Race before Christmas and really needed something to start with the first of the year. I got out the Dave Ramsey study and actually looked through it and just really started hearing God speaking to me about how bad we could all use the study. So, we started it 2 weeks ago. I've already referenced in one of my posts about how profound the study has already been just two weeks in. I know for a fact this study is what God wanted us doing at this exact time. This is why.

I would say starting in November I started having some anxiety about going to heaven. I know that sounds crazy and a little terrible, but every time I would hear a song on the radio that talked about being in heaven with Jesus I would start to panic a little. Not because I don't know that I will in fact be in heaven with Jesus one day, but that to do so I will have to leave my family. I know this still sounds silly. When we meet Jesus face to face one day the last thing on our minds will be anything about this world. But, the thought of being somewhere without my family just made my heart hurt. I am very attached to them. Some might say a little too much. haha I started praying about it immediately. Asking Jesus to show me why I was so scared to leave them. I asked for forgiveness for putting them first. I already told you about one of the activities we did last Wednesday night at youth, but I want to tell about another one. I had the kids list 10 things that they love in no specific order. Then I asked them if they had to give 3 things away to someone in need what would it be? And they had to mark 3 things off their list. Then I asked if you had to throw 3 more things into the ocean what would go? They marked 3 more things off of their list. Lastly, if someone stole 3 more things from you, what would you want them to steal? Three more things get marked off, leaving you with one thing on your list. Now, looking at the one thing left on your list . . . would you be ok living the rest of your life with only that one thing? This exercise may have been harder for me than it was for them! Of course I had God as the last thing on my list. But, I almost had a physical reaction to having to mark things off of my list. haha There were items that I did not want to give up and when I got to having to mark my family off it was really hard.

Looking at the one thing left on my list I knew God was showing me something. I'd been praying about being anxious about leaving my family and He was showing me so strongly that it's not just my family. I have become so consumed with this world. I've been choosing it over Him! I felt Him speaking so strongly to me that He has nothing to to with this world and what it can offer me. He is so incredibly much more than that. The things He has planned out and in store for me can't even begin to compare with what this world has to offer. I love my family with all of my heart. I would give my own life for any one of them. But, I could not live my whole life only having them. But, I could live my whole entire life with just my God. And not just live it . . . live it to the fullest measure. John 10:10 "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." This may be old news to many of you, but it's something that washed a fresh over me yesterday.

Something else that I have been praying about is meeting peoples needs. It's really hard for me to speak to people I don't know and you have to talk to people and get to know them in order to see if they have any needs in their lives that need to be met. Yesterday I was brought to my knees in humility. I was made aware of a situation that was happening right under my nose and I had no idea. But, because of someone else wanting to met her needs I was made aware of her situation. I won't go into detail to keep her identity private, but there is someone that is very close to me that has been hurting physically and emotionally for years. She doesn't have a loved one to take care of her and make sure that she gets the proper physical treatment. As I heard this story I was so ashamed. Ashamed that I've been so wrapped up in myself that I couldn't see that there was a need right in front of me that needs to be met. I know for a fact that God put this story in my lap. I've been praying for it and here it is. Now, what will I do? It's so hard knowing that there is a need to be met but you can't meet in financially. But, that doesn't mean the need can't still be met. One thing I have an unending supply of is prayers. I'm making a commitment to bathe her in prayer and let God work out the details. I am also making a commitment to get to know her better so that I can share the love of Christ with her. Can you imagine going to bed at night and not knowing that someone out there loves you and values you? It breaks my heart. As I drove home from work yesterday, it hit me that if I never get to move out of my apartment or buy a new car, that I would still be going home to luxury every day. How many things do we take for granted. How many days do we wake up always wanting more, when clearly we have way more than enough. God is obviously really working on me right now. I didn't even realize that I was materialistic or even cared about what this world had to offer. But, I forget how well God knows me and I'm grateful He's not finished with me yet.

It's such an amazing feeling to look back and see how God is working in your life even when you might not understand at the time. He always has a plan for us. And it's overwhelming when all is revealed. Nothing is more exciting than an active relationship with Jesus! Thank you for reading another very long post. I hope God will speak to your heart the way He did to mine!

A Taste of Spring

This is the Day that the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it! I just checked the weather channel and they said it was going to be 66 degrees today! The last Saturday in January and we are getting a taste of Spring! The bad news . . . . I have to work all day! Yuck. But I think tomorrow it's going to be nice again! I hope everyone in the south will enjoy this beautiful day for me! Love to all.

Insecure? ... Surely not me

I referenced in my last blog that sometimes I feel like my kids teach me more than I teach them. But, the real truth is that usually when I'm teaching them a lesson it's something God is directly dealing with me about. Sometimes I love that . . . and sometimes I hate that. haha As a teacher you want to be confident in what you are teaching, almost as if you have already risen above the lesson. Yet, sometimes in the middle of a Sunday or Wednesday night lesson I almost freeze up because I can hear God telling me . . . "THIS IS FOR YOU TOO! SO LISTEN UP!" When that happens I always let my kids know. If there is something that I am struggling with I want them to know I'm a real person too. I go through the same types of trials and temptations as they do. We have started a new Dave Ramsey study on Wednesday nights. At first I wasn't sure if our youth were really old enough to do a bible study on money management. But, once I started reading into the study I realized that the heart of the study is about our value. The study focuses on helping youth to find their value as a person in God alone, not in "things" or other people's opinions of us. There was an activity that we did that touched my heart sort of unexpectedly. You take a $20 bill and ask the kids who would like it. Of course everyone wants that money. Then you take the bill and crumble it up and step on it. Then ask again if anyone wants it. Still, they want the money. Then you take the bill dunk it in some water and rub some mud into it until you can hardly tell that it is a $20 bill. Ask the kids if anyone still wants the money and suprisingly they would have all taken it right out of my hand. So, I asked them why they still wanted the money after it had been through all of that and you couldn't even tell what it was anymore. My response was "because it's still $20 even though it's dirty and messed up". Exactly, it hasn't lost it's value. And that is exactly how God sees us! No matter what happens in our lives, the messes we make of ourselves. We will never lose our value. He loves us and sees us as His beautiful children. Still full of value to Him!! I got really emotional during the lesson because it's so easy for me to look at my kids and see how valuable they are. Each one is so special and has their own gifts and personalities that I can already see God at work in, but I know that that is now how they see themselves. They all struggle with insecurity. Being a teenager is hard. I remember. And that's when God turned the tables on me. He pointed out to me that I am still living the life of an insecure person. As hard as it is to admit. I still find my value in "things" and what other people say that I am. You don't just grow out of that as a teenager. I think it's a constant struggle against this world. But, the good news is that God loves us so incredibly much that in His word He left us the sweetest gift. He tells us exactly who He made us to be and just how much value He thinks we have. From now on, when I'm having a bad hair day, or freak out because I can't fit into any of my clothes, or struggle with being single, I'm going to look to these verses to remind me of how much my God values me. I hope they will touch you in the same way. It's not cocky or prideful to know that you were made WONDERFULLY by the MOST HIGH GOD. Embrace it. Let it change your life!

"Then God said, "Let us make man in our own image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground. So, God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female He created them." Gen. 1:26-27

Ok, i'm going to have to add how these verses speak to me. Not only did God create us in His own image, but He gave us dominion over the whole earth. Now, if He didn't see value in us and didn't trust us . . . would He have given us everything that was His? Think about that. That is incredible! From the beginning of time He loved His creation. He thought it was GOOD.

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, and I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body." Psalms 139: 13-16

Many women keep these verses close to them. There is just something so sweet about knowing that God formed us and shaped us in our mother's womb. I love it how it says, "my frame was not hidden from you". In other words we didn't come out and God say . . . ummmm, I made that? yikes! Let's try again. NO, He knew exactly what He was doing when He made us. He knew I was going to have the shape I have and do you know what He said about it? He said it was WONDERFUL. Talk about getting approval. That's all you need.

"Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered . So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows." Matthew 10: 29-30

This is how much God values us! The smallest and cheapest of birds aren't even removed from His will. Why would you be? He knows every detail about us . . . the good and the bad . . . down to the hairs on our head. You are so significant to Him. I know in today's society so many of us feel like we just blend in. We aren't special. We don't stand out to anyone. This is a lie from Satan. God sees you. He loves you and He thinks you are very special! He says, "Don't be afraid." How could we be afraid if we know that He is there with us at every turn!

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present or the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will ever be able to seperate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 38-39

Nothing will change the love that God has for us in Christ Jesus. Jesus died on the cross while we were still sinners! Because He loves us and values us. He sees potential in us! Don't let insecurity make you feel unimportant or that you aren't good enough. Jesus showed us on the cross the depth of His love for us. Don't go another day believing that you are anything less that what God says you are. Take one of these verses, write it down on notecard and keep it with you during the day. Sometimes it takes reminding ourselves over and over. But, eventually you will get it and it will change you forever!

This is Me

So . . . this is me! My name is April and I am 28 years young. I live in a small town with almost all of my immediate family and I love it! I have two sisters and a brother and I am the proud Aunt of two nephews and a neice! I graduated from Auburn University with a degree in Psychology. After barely making it to graduation, I came home to figure things out . . . . and well, I'm still here. I can see now that God had His hand all over that move. It's funny how we can't see God at work until we stop working so hard to see it! I have been working as a Pharmacy Technician for about the past 5 years. I love my job and couldn't ask for a better boss.

Now for the most important parts of me. I love God. He is absolutley my best friend and I would be nothing without Him. I felt a call to ministry probably as early as my senior year of highschool. I was unsure of where His call would take me for many many years. My senior year of college I participated in my first Beth Moore bible study. From the moment I began the study I felt God putting women's ministry on my heart. I began to really pray and seek God about where He wanted me. I was frustrated for a long time because where I thought God was going to lead me was not at all His plan for me. I didn't want to get "stuck" in a small town where all of my former friends had moved on and I was still single and alone. It turns out that is exactly where He wanted me! I remember driving home from a friends house one day and God spoke so directly to my heart I thought He was sitting in the passenger seat! When you hear a word from God that loud all you can do is say YES! So, I finally joined the church that my family and I had attended my whole life and began to look for ways to serve. For the first couple of years I didn't really see a place for me. I tried to listen to God to see what work I could do and slowly but surely He spoke to me about our lacking youth group. It just so happened that there was a big age gap and for several years there hadn't been a need for a youth leader because there were no kids in that age group. I started watching the younger kids and knew within a couple of years they would be ready. I couldn't wait to start the youth ministry back in our church. With much help and lots of prayers we were back in business. I have now been teaching and ministering to the youth of our church for almost 4 years now! It's crazy thinking back on how God moved and worked things out according to His good plan. I love these kids as if they were my own. Sometimes I feel like they teach me more than I teach them.

In the past couple of years I've felt God leading me back to women's ministry. He definetly hasn't taken away my desire for youth ministry, but I still feel Him calling. Last year I organized a Ladies retreat at our church and facilitated a Beth Moore study on Esther. The study was a Godsend and everyone that participated received a huge blessing. I just announced that I want to do another study starting in March. I am currently waiting to see how many will be interested in participating.

I think I wanted to blog because it's kind of like writing in a journal . . . . only very public. I am more of an intravert when it comes to talking to people I don't know and that has been a challenge as a Christian when it comes to sharing my faith with strangers. I'm hoping that in some way by writing this blog it will be a ministry tool. I love sharing what God is doing in my life and I would love to hear about what He is doing in yours. I believe that prayer is powerful and effective! I would love to pray for you and ask that as you read my blogs that you would pray for me as well! More later . . .